Self Exclusion - Help Please

[AidanLCFC]

I have a pal here in UK who's in a bad place gambling at the moment, really bad place and needs help

I've said I'll help him self exclude from everywhere as he knows he has to but never does or "cools off" instead and then reopens his accounts and back to square 1. Will UK licenced sites allow me to self exclude on his behalf or are Aff Managers on here willing to help and get my mate self excluded for us please. We all know the industry revolves around people losing but no one wants to see people hurt themselves because of it

Hopefully we'll see some good karma here

 

[AussieDave]

@thebookiesoffers - your mate needs to close ALL his accounts, himself. The better idea, is for you to be at his place, at his PC, when he does it. This way he just can't go the cool-off-period. Instead, with yourself present, he will have to self exclude.

Maybe the UK gambling commission offers a blanket exclusion on all their licensed casinos. IDK, but worth a shot.

he knows he has to but never does or "cools off" instead and then reopens his accounts and back to square 1.

I know this is probably a touchy subject for you, because it is your mate. So no disrespect to either of you.

Your mate is a compulsive gambler. Unless you can monitor him 24/7, then he's most probably going to find a way to gamble. The things is, unless he/himself wants to stop. As in, he has hit rock-bottom and is sick and tired of being sick of tired of gambling, then there's nothing anyone can do, to help him. He needs to help himself.

Couple of suggestions:

1. Don't give him money (if he needs food, buy it for him; bills need paying, you pay them; etc., etc.)
   
2. Bank accounts, arrange to get a co-signature on his accounts;
3. Better yet, have his wagers paid into your account and you become his banker;
4. The source of cash/money needs to be turned-off here, otherwise he will gamble.

Sorry I can't be of more help.



Edit: The reason this ALL hinges on your mate calling it a day, is because unless he does so, then he will always (forget the misery) and keep playing. Then end up back in the shite again.

The other reason... You can go to great lengths to stop the cash BUT what's to stop him applying and getting another credit card or a bank loan or if he gets desperate... pawning stuff. You can't stop that... So he needs to admit to himself he has a problem and take steps to stop, for good!

 

[DaftDog]

AussieDave is right. I'm afraid he is an addict and there is not much difference between being an alcoholic, drug addict of gambling addict. Only he can turn his life around because he wants to and accept help from others because he is willing to.

 

[AidanLCFC]

I'm well aware he's an addict, and so is he. More hoping some industry friends that know me will be able to step up to the plate and help by getting him self excluded

 

[DaftDog]

No disrespect to you or your friend so please don't take offense to any of my suggestions.

I also have a friend who is a gambling addict. It took him a while and his marriage to realise the real extent of his problem.

As AussieDave said he has to do it himself. Relying on industry friends to self-exclude him would not be legally binding, and he could very easily have those accounts re-opened if they were ever closed by friends in the first place. Friends can only do so much.

 

[AussieDave]

took him a while and his marriage to realise the real extent of his problem.

That's the operative word here "realise".

@thebookiesoffers - You mate needs to accept he has a compulsive addiction. Unfortunately until that happens, (sorry to say) he will continue on this path.

Everyone has a breaking point. DaftDog's mate probably had to lose his marriage for his addition to sink in. Others, could be the lose of their job. Some though, don't stop until they've lost their house or worse, committed crime to feed their addiction, and ended up in jail.

Back in the 90's, I knew a guy who had a successful butcher shop. He liked the horses. In one day he lost over $100K. The guy tried to kill himself by stabbing himself in the chest. Just missed vital organs. An employee found him. Got patched up and stayed off the punt for around 2 years.

Then one day started punting again. Within a week he'd lost over $150K. He tried to knock-himself again... And failed, again.

Last time I heard he'd lost his marriage, business and was f#cked. However, he stopped gambling.

Tough love works
You could suggest he attends a GA meeting!

 

[LandofOz]

Unless the problem gambler is 1,000% determined to stop gambling by himself, then there is no real way of helping him because he will always find a way to gamble. It usually takes something quite serious to put an end to the gambling problem such as a divorce, etc. In any case, I admire and respect your efforts to help your friend, and hope you have a better outcome than I did when I tried to help someone.